Let People Love You!
REOCCURRING LIFE LESSON AS OF LATELY: let people love you.
I’m going to say it again: let people love you.
I don’t know if that sounds like a simple sentiment to all of you, but, for me, it was something that sounded simple but did NOT sound easy. I would get in my own way when it came to friendships, choosing to believe that I wasn’t worthy of being surrounded by amazing people. I’d try to only show the “good” parts of myself, so that people would like me better.
What I didn’t realize was that friends actually WANT to see the “bad” parts of you, they want to be able to hold space for you and be a shoulder to cry on in addition to a wingwoman and dance partner. Letting people love you requires letting people KNOW YOU. AKA, if you think anyone will love you more as long as you’re “perfect” and you never show a shred of vulnerability, you’re mistaken, just as I was. Whatever you think makes you unloveable are the exact parts of yourself that you need to CHOOSE TO LOVE. & to let others love you for. Your friends don’t love you in spite of the sh*t you’ve gone through, they love you because of the person YOU”VE BECOME from the sh*t you’ve gone through— the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Authentic friendships rely on the parties involved being authentic. Authenticity arises from owning the space you take up, not just as the person you used to be, or the person you currently are, or the person you hope to become, but as a CULMINATION of all of those versions of yourself. You wouldn’t be you NOW if you weren’t who you were before. Who you are today is building who you wake up as tomorrow. Your friends aren’t here to judge you for who you used to be, they’re here to love you for who you are RIGHT NOW. That means, though, they love you for everything you’ve experienced to get here.
Accepting love from others helps us remember to accept love from ourselves. We can be loved by others to the intimacy by which we love ourselves. The act of being your authentic self and letting others love you for it can help you learn to love yourself for it too. It’s a dance between loving yourself so that others can love you & letting yourself be loved so that you can love you. The friendships I have made in the past year have helped me reach a new level of self-love, and have shown me just HOW FREAKING MUCH I CAN LOVE PEOPLE. Like, sheeeeesh!! The sheer amount of badass, beautiful, incredible women I have been blessed to befriend this year alone makes my heart feel like it could EXPLODE. So, hug your soul-connection friends tight, love them well, and let them love you right back.