ahhh, discipline... i loathed this word. it was a dirty word to me; it sounded like punishment, restriction, and, essentially, performing tasks that I didn’t want to do.

discipline, however, does not solely apply to us doing the things that we’d rather avoid, like making our beds or doing the dishes, but it also relates to the choices we repeatedly make that slowly conglomerate to be our lives. the tougher choices. these difficult decisions include prioritizing our souls above our egos, our higher selves about our past versions, our evolution over our comfort. 

life-changing decisions require discipline, because, psychologically speaking, willpower is not a magical fix nor an entirely unlimited resource— it takes effort and mental energy to utilize willpower, and with the obscene number of thoughts we have and choices we make in a day, our willpower tank can be running on empty by late afternoon! THUS, if we want to change our lives, we have to change our habits. until choices that benefit us and bring us closer to the people we want to feel like, look like, and act like, have become second-nature, we must invest the due energy and discipline that is necessary to rewire our routines and our habit loops.

one of my words of 2021 is discipline. I chose this word because it sounds absolutely unbearable to live another day at war with myself. granted, I’ve come a long way in taming my ego and calling her out on her bullshit, BUT, the work is never done. over the past few weeks, I have been journaling like a mad woman, addressing the aspects of my life where my ego is most prevalent, even if she hides out dormant the majority of the time. immediately, I realized how my body image struggles have been a freakin’ Petri dish for my ego to multiply. for YEARS, I had felt uncomfortable in my own skin, unworthy, and that people measured me nearly entirely off of my physical appearance. 

to interrupt myself, let me just make it abundantly evident that YOUR BODY IS THE LEAST INTERESTING THING ABOUT YOU. 

now, back to your previously scheduled content, what the f*ck is a girl (or guy) to do when she is SICK N TIRED of waking up and wishing she, at least on the outside, were someone else?? well, ill tell you, she is to GET DISCIPLINED. everyyyy time I want to return to my old, low-vibe, insecure ways and insult my appearance, I FLIP THE SCRIPT MID-THOUGHT. I’ll literally be like, “oh no, no... that’s not us anymore. we build ourselves up, babe. damnnnn girl look at you!!! you’re one bad b*tch! yess we love our body, it’s our home. we’re a soul wrapped in skin.” more recently my nerdy self has hopped onto adding, “Fi!! Your cells kill off what could be cancer every day. Your body works so hard to take care of you. Are you REALLY going to be mean to something that exists solely to nurture you and sustain you??? Uh uh. THEY (your cells) CAN HEAR YOU! Say thank you and that you love them for all they do for you. Ok bye bye cells thanks again.” 

however strange those statements may appear to you, I SWEAR that I have never felt more confident in my own skin than when I started implementing them into my daily thoughts. by correcting your negative thought voice and stopping her (him/they/it) in her tracks, you can REWIRE YOUR NEUROLOGICAL PATHWAYS!!! HOW FREAKIN COOL??? 

and wait, THERE’S MORE, when you change your thoughts, you change your life, because you are actually changing the chemical state of your body by raising the frequency and vibration of your being. imagine how “bleh” it feels to speak meanly to yourself. it’s low-vibe energy, right? it makes you want to shrink & hide away from your OWN BRAIN. nowww, think of how lovelyyy it feels when you sweet talk yourself up. you want to stand up tall, shoulders back, chest puffed out, head held high. it makes you feel like you and your mind and your body are ONE! they’re on the same team!!! 

so, to plug the word discipline a little more, what I have noticed is that changing how I talk to myself has influenced all avenues of my life. when you no longer feel like you’re suiting up for battle before every workout (working out to “beat your body into shape”), when you no longer equate your self worth to every bit of food that enters your system, when you no longer believe that your grades need to be perfect and are the only measure of intelligence, when you no longer measure the quality of your life using the ruler meant for someone else’s, YOURE SO MUCH HAPPIER. and, it actually becomes EASIER to perform the way you always wanted to. the misconception of our world’s lack mentality is that we believe we must use fear as our motivation for success. I challenge that belief- what if we used love, trust, and faith when gearing up  to take on a new goal? what if we knew that we were BORN capable of our wildest dreams? that it’s our birthright to wake up content and at peace? mhmmmm. helloooo freedom. 

a healthy dose of discipline, routine, planning, and structure can all clear the way for spontaneity, liveliness, adventure, and dreams-come-true. 

for me, this next year is about taking the words, beliefs, and habits that no longer serve me and either quitting them or re-defining them. it’ll take discipline, but I am so committed to the life that I am attracting, my DREAM LIFE, that I know that demonstrating discipline is a small price to pay with a huge payoff in the end. 

With love, Fi